The Cornocopia of files of the Marauders
by Master Fifer
Summary: BIG words invade Hogwarts and the Marauders! Prongs and Padfoot decide to bother Moony with some BIG surprises. Will it get out of hand?
1. Chapter 1

Yellow, ppl! On special request of my good friend Ginger Paws14, There is now a Marauders BIG word series. As always, I would like this to be enjoyable for U, the reader, the life source of my success, the fish food in my imaginative tank, the fire- Yeah, U get it. Anywhoozle, if U have any BIG words I could use in the story could U please send me a review with said word intact! I would be much obliged, thank U. So, here it goes. Ladies, Gentleman, Wizards, Witches, Lawyers, Soliciters, Small children who do what they see on T.V., and of course: My friend Ginger Paws14; I give U: THE MARAUDERS EXCEPTIONALLY, DIFFICULT, CORNOCOPIA OF WORDS!

Disclaimer: JK Rowling would be crazy to put this down, therefore she would not own up to such a piece of writing. If U don't get what I'm saying: I DON'T OWN.

The Beginning: Sirius's Questions

"Remus, what does marmoreal mean?"

"It's something relating or resembling marble or a marble statue. Leave me alone, I'm reading."

"Okay. ……. Hey, Remus?"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"What does neurogenic mean?"

"Sirius, what did I say?"

"Ummm…. don't let Padfoot drink out of the toilet because it's disgusting and germy and we could all catch some deadly virus?"

"No, that was yesterday. What did I just say a minute ago?"

"Oh, don't bother you because you're reading."

"Exactly. And what are you doing?"

"Ummm… bothering you while you're reading?"

"Very good. Now what are you going to do?"

"…… Leave you alone and go bother Prongs?"

"Why do you save all of this intelligence for moments like this? Now, go away."

Sirius left the dorm room and waltzed into the common room, looking mischievous.  
James saw him coming his way and held a mental conversation with himself.

_Oh no. Why is he coming over here? I didn't even do anything! …… Yet. Maybe if I pretend I don't see him he'll go away._

"Yellow, Prongs? Whatcha doin'?"

_Damn! Just look the other way…_

"Prongs, I'm talking to you!"

_Lalalalalalala, think of Lily, think of Lily…… ON NO! Don't think of Lily! Uhhh.. butterflies, puppies, Snape's bunny underwear… Oh, phew! That was close. Crap! He's still here!_

"Prongs!"

_I'm obviously not going to win this… well, I tried._

"Hey, Sirius. Didn't see you there."

"Yeah right. Wanna play a game?"

"Oh, Sirius, you read my mind. What game shall we play?"

"Well, it involves Moony, a dictionary, and (of course) US!"

"Great! Let's get started!"

_I know I'm gonna regret this…_

Ho hum, what will Prongs and Moony do? Wait and see… Reviews, please! Once again: I dedicate this story to my friend Ginger Paws14!

Happy Reading to y'all!


	2. Subtle Tactics

Well, since U LUVED this more than I thought, here U go, Rabid Fan people!

Disclaimer: Don't own. Uh- huh. Yep, don't own…

"Moony! Oh, MOOOOOONY!"

_Good Merlin, what does he want now!_

"Hey, Moony. How's your day been goin' so far?"

"Well, I did exceptionally well in Potions, very nicely in Transfiguration, then just as I was settling down to read, some bumbling idiot asked me what the word 'marmoreal' meant, then he went to bother HIS other friend and now I'm stuck here telling you how my day has been."

"Oh, I know! I hate it when you want someone to leave, but they won't, and you just wanna give them a sock in the kisser!"

"Pray tell…"

"Hey, Prongs and I wanted to ask you something…"

Remus had to be careful in situations like this. He had found himself in predicaments like this, when he hadn't known Sirius's unpredictable nature. However, now he knew better… hopefully. So, cautiously, and sneaky as the wind, he subtlety changed the subject.

"Uhh, isn't that a half full Bertie Bopp's Every Flavor Bean container?"

This was something that always worked. Sirius and James were immediately on the ground searching for the prize. Remus made a hasty retreat to his dorm, locking the door behind him.

"Remus, there's no Bertie- Remus? REMUS! Darn, he got away!"

Sirius adopted a sly look.

"For now…"

James had to roll his eyes. Remus was crafty and clever, but Sirius was stupid and determined. No matter where Remus would hide, Sirius would track him down and sniff him out. Literally. Crafty and Clever, versus Stupind and Determined. Even a Muggle could tell him who would win this game. Even if it wasn't what one was expecting...

Any suggestions for future chapters? If there are, please and thank U!

ENJOY!

HI


	3. First Try

I'm exceptionally ….. DEMENTED! ……. Ahem, U must excuse me. Sometimes I can't control myself. Anywhoozle… got lots of GLORIOUS reviews from the following: UltimaYunie (U go!), the LuciousLadyLucius (LUV your name!), my also demented friend Firehorse200 (HI! It's me! Update your L's D V1! U know what I'm talking about!), and of course the brilliant Ginger Paws14! Please more reviews! Think of it as giving to the needy… Enjoy!

"Moony. Mooooooony!"

_If I just sit still, don't breathe, and blend with my surroundings he won't see me._

"Moony, why is your head in my house plant?"

"I can't see you, so you can't see me!"

James rolled his eyes (so far, he was up to 32 eye rolls for the day. I wonder if that was some kind of world record…). Sometimes he thought he was the only _mature_ one around here. James tried to ravel things out a bit between the two friends.

"Moony, I'm afraid we can still see you. Fortunately, the only harm _Sirius_, I repeat, _Sirius_, as in not me, has come to do is ask a simple question."

Remus' voice was muffled from his head being in a plant and all, but he was still heard loud and clear.

"That sounds like harm to me!"

Sirius launched the innocent, curious child mode.

"Aww, come on, Moony. I just wanted to ask you something."

No answer. Sirius went for theyou don't love me trick.

"It's okay. I understand. Remus just doesn't love me anymore. (_sniff_) Don't worry about me, I'll (_sniff_) find Professor Dumbledore and (_sob_) ask him my (_blows nose_) unimportant question. (_sniff, sob, sigh)_"

Remus had heard this before. It always came up with things he didn't want to do, or things Sirius wanted, which was basically everything. It came up with who got the last Chocolate Frog, or testing the newest broom James' parents had given him, or not doing homework (more like making Remmy do it). It was cute the first 64 times, but after that it just got annoying.

Remus thought to himself. Don't respond to Sirius' stupidity and he would act hurt and unappreciated for about a week then totally forget this ever happened, or respond to him now and face the challenge of MORE questions. Ohh, difficult decision…

After some time for thought (more like 10 seconds), Remus came to his decision and voiced it.

"(_sigh_) What Sirius?"

Sirius beamed.

"Now that I have your attention, ahem, I'd like to ask…"

Sirius felt especially giddy as an evil grin spread over his features.

"- what Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcano meant?"

Remus looked…. Well, no one could explain how he looked. He sat in his chair for about a minute looking… however he was looking. Then, he calmly stood up, walked over to his dorm, turned around to face his friends, turned around again, and walked into the dorm, closing and locking the door behind him.

James was the first to recover from the …. odd situation.

"Well, that didn't …… go as I planned. Umm…. who's up for some Bertie Bopp's and Chocolate Frogs, Sirius?"

Sirius looked disappointed.

"Oh, poo. He didn't respond."

"Well, you'd think after the fifth time of ignoring you, you'd stop. But you, Sirius Black are a stupid and persistent soul."

"Really? Thanks James. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day."  
James snorted.

"I can believe that."

Thanks to Phantom'sJediBandieGirl for that reeeeeeealy long word! It's a real word, too! Suppoosed to be the longest in the English dictionary according to the Guiness Book of Records! Thanx P'sJBG! R&R please!


	4. Mumbo Jumbo

Lalalalalalalalal. WOW! I'm feeling just right and dandy on this glorious day! YES! Alrighty then. YEAH! …….. Sorry, U must excuse me again. Sometimes I can't help myself! I have to voice my thoughts and moods! Poor souls, listening to me ramble. Anywhooooookle… special thanx to all who reviewed especially Ginger Paws14 who, by the way, writes awesome stories so U should check them owt! I would recommend The Thing on the Bed. It's really funny! Alrighty, here it goes…

"Academic preparation?"

"No."

"Bandon?"

"Nu- uh."

"I give up! This is ridiculous!"

James sighed. Of all the times Sirius had to be exact with something it was something that had no relevance to anything useful to him or anybody else, like using an Exacto knife, or saying a spell with lots of P's and H's. He was currently trying all the words he, supposedly, knew would annoy Moony. None of them had any effect what so ever on James, who was pretty annoyed already with Sirius' lack of intelligence, and Sirius decided that if it didn't bother James it wouldn't bother Remmy.

"Bacchanal?"

"Nope."

"This is stupid, James! Can't we find another way of annoying Remmy?"

"Hey, don't make it sound like it was _my_ idea, okay? You're the one who came up with all this mumbo jumbo."

"Hmmmmm….. mumbo jumbo…."

"Don't even think about it, Sirius."

"Stop being a fibula, James."

"A fibula? That's a bone in your leg."

"……. Shut up. I hate it when you do that brain thing."

"Well, it's not my fault if I'm decent." It was actually true.

"Don't use your fancy words with me. My head hurts as it is. I've never done so much thinking in one whole day!"

"I can also believe that."

Sirius had to think. Well, more than usual anyway. Remus hated surprises, GIANT words, and fish. That's all he had come up with so far. If only he could put all that together… who knows. Maybe he could. He _was_ Sirius Bloody Black! Maybe he could ask Snape the Sniffler…..

Can anybody guess where this is going? Good, cause if U figure it owt, U're more than welcome to tell me. Just kidding! Get ready for some Snape Snippets in these next chapters!

'till then, my Rabid Fans!

HI


	5. Snape the somewhat Great

Yellow Rabid Fans! It is I, The Mighty Hoofin' It! Back from the Dead! Haha! Anyway, I promised U guys Snape would be in this next chapter so here U have it! Some Snape snacks for all!

"Severus! OHHH, SEEEEEEEEVERUS?"

Severus Snape looked up from his book of potions. He, unlike some other students in this school, was studying for a very important test they had in 2 days time, and goddammit he was gonna get it done! But, someone was awaiting his smart self. Studying would have to wait. Pushing his absurdly large glasses over his absurdly large nose ( sorry, I could just picture dear Professor Snape with those big dorky glasses!) , he opened the door to his dorm only to have Sirius Black and James Potter come crashing through the doorway.

"Hiya, Severus! We need a favor…"

Severus started. Sirius usually said stuff like this before he gave Severus a major wedgie or Indian Burn or even if he shoved him into the nearest garbage can.

"What kind of favor exactly?"

"We want you to put that blessed thing you call a brain to work, son! For the good of wizard kind everywhere!"

"What he means to say is for his enjoyment in watching Remus suffer." James put in helpfully.

Sirius interrupted.

"Not suffer. …….. Well, not suffer exactly…."

Severus sighed. Might as well get it over with.

"What do you suggest?"

Sirius grinned.

"I thought you'd never ask."

_Maybe I shouldn't have,_ Severus thought.

Sorry it's super short, but I luv keepin' y' all in suspense! 'till next time my friends!


	6. The Shiny Rock Cometh

Please don't hit me! I know I've been away for so very long and I'm sorry! But U see, just as I was about to update my stories, Aliens kidnapped me and took me to Venus! I told them, "I have to get back and update my stories for my dearly beloved fans who I love and adore!" And they were all like, "No, you must stay with us!" I finally managed to escape by way of flying asteroid, but when I returned home, it was 2 months later! …….. And if U don't believe that, I'm just plain lazy. Hehehehehe. Here goes!

"Alright Severus, put that brain to w-"

"Now hold on. What am I going to get out of this anacephalic situation?"

"…. Anace what what?"

"Anacephalic. It means brainless."

"Oooooo! That's a good one! Write it down, Prongs, write it down!"

"Anyway, what am I going to get in return."

Sirius gave an exasperated sigh.

"We have to pay you now?"

Severus crossed his arms defiantly. He didn't like Sirius, and Sirius didn't like him. They could both agree on that. But Severus didn't want to miss a single moment of Sirius Black actually admitting he needed his help.

"Yes, you do."

James played with the tassles on the couch he was sitting on. He had come to the conclusion that Sirius would never be a lawyer with all this horrible negotiations.

"How 'bout I give you this shiny rock?"

Severus just stared at him.

"Ooo, shiiiiiny rooooooock….."

Severus continued to stare at him.

Sirius grumbled.

"Well, it entertains me…"

"How 'bout this. You and your band of bumbling idiots leave me alone for the rest of the year."

"WHAT? Are you crazy? The school year isn't complete without that! How am I suppose to entertain myself?"

Severus threw him the shiny rock. Sirius stared at it, then looked up.

"Touche, nose boy. Touche…"

I'm keeping the rhythm of suspense here, but I plan to UltimaYunie's idea… Read her review to find out! Nice to hear from U all!


	7. Mission Ridiculous

YIKES! Has it really been a month since I updated this? Good Lord! I'M A MONSTER! LOL…

_I could have been in Hufflepuff… I could have been in Ravenclaw… I COULD HAVE EVEN BEEN IN BLOODY SLYTHERIN! But no, stinking hat has to put me in Gryffindor with a bumbling idiot room mate who has the animagus of an ADHD dog! Of all the luck…_

James thought to himself as he, Sirius, and Severus snuck into Remus' room. Sirius had finally decided to leave Severus alone for the rest of the year, seeing as if Snape was caught up here, he could have points beyond points taken from his house. Of course, he had also had to admithe needed Severus's help 11 times before they continued. That had been quite amusing…

Sirius pranced ahead, holding a dictionary in one hand and Peter Pettigrew in the other. Yes, Peter Pettigrew. Snape had done some sort of complicated spell to keep him in rat form so they could carry on with their plans. Let's just say that Peter was one unhappy rat right now… He squeaked loudly.

Sirius shushed him.

"Hush, Pete! Do you want to wake up the whole house? …. I know this is rather unfair, but you were are only option. …. Well, I would be rather angry if my animagus was a rat, too. But… it's not, so there."

Sirius silently opened Remus's door and snuck in. Snape got to work.

"Okay. Place the picture there, and put the dictionary next to it. Good, now we have to stun Peter."

Peter's furry face drained of color.

James looked apologetic.

"Sorry, Pete. See you in the morning."

_Crack!_

The Next Morning…

Remus stretched and yawned. He sat up and blinked. Sirius and James were already up it seemed. Probably already wolfing down their fifth helping of breakfast.

Remus was about to get up when he felt something move under his sheets. Something hairy brushed against his leg…

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

James and Sirius came crashing into the room to find Remus leaping out of bed. He stopped when a picture of a man met his face.

"Indolebutyricacid."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Citronella."

"Wha- SIRIUS!"

Sirius chose that moment to bolt downstairs, guffawing the whole time. James followed, and quickly behind him followed a very disheveled rat.

Hehehehehe, you'll have to find out more on this subject next time! HUZZAH!


	8. Proverbial Cherry on Proverbial Cake

Sorry 'bout the wait, people. I'm very busy, you know? Here goes…

Remus was not happy as he walked into the bathroom.

"Discountenance."

Remus growled as he combed his hair. Stupid painting…

"Intervertebral."

"I have no idea what that means."

"Romedale."

Sirius was going to pay for this. James too. Peter, possibly, even though he had been forced against his will to turn into his animagus (a rat, duh you guys knew that) and thrown into Remus' bed to give him a "pleasant" wake up call in the morning. Stupid Peter…

And now, to top the proverbial cake with the proverbial cherry, a picture was following him EVERYWHERE he went, spewing "big" words for him to answer or ignore.

"Phylactery."

How was he going to explain this to the Quidditch Team? I'm sorry, fellows, I can't play for the game because I have a picture following me and it will distract me. Thanks for understanding. If he wasn't thrown in Azkaban for insanity, he would be sent off somewhere worse.

"Quinquefoliate."

"Look, I have no idea what or who you are, and I have little knowledge of what you're saying. Get it?"

"Robedechambre."Remus threw his comb down and stormed out of the bathroom. He went up to his room.

"Watch out, Sirius black. What goes around comes around."

The proud moment was lessened somehow by the painting.

"Scalogram."

"BE QUIET!"

Later…

Sirius was laughing with James in the Commom Room when Remus came down the small flight of stairs. Sirius waved at him.

"Hey, Moony! Enjoy your day with Felix?"

He and James burst out laughing. Remus decided the painting was Felix, seeing as some boy wasn't following him around. He didn't answer Sirius.

Sirius stopped laughing and smiled at him.

"Look, no hard feelings about this, mate? Right, pal?"

Remus smiled at him.

"Of course not, Padfoot. Why would I, mature, sophisticated, and charming, stoop to your childish antics and stupid ideas?"

"Um, thanks…. I think."

Remus put his hand to his chin in a thinking stance.

"Of course, if one were to be provoked in such a manner as to BREAK this little friendly law of politics, the consequences of a certain rugged boy might be direly correct and painful."

He smiled.

Sirius looked confused.

"Say what now?"

Oooo… Sirius is in trouble…. Hehehehe, sorry it's short. I'm building the momentum, you know? Oh, and if anyone knows the definitions of some of these words, they get extra cookies… and yes, you can use a dictionary…

MF, R&R please!


End file.
